{"id":4988,"date":"2014-03-26T13:43:00","date_gmt":"2014-03-26T13:43:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/lifeiswhathappens.ca\/?p=4988"},"modified":"2026-01-15T18:19:29","modified_gmt":"2026-01-15T18:19:29","slug":"where-have-all-the-calories-gone","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/lifeiswhathappens.ca\/?p=4988","title":{"rendered":"Where have all the calories gone…."},"content":{"rendered":"

…..or not as the case maybe. I have just spent the last half hour hanging around the kitchen looking for an idea for a post. Unfortunately, I have done crumbs before and today there were too many of them to be funny. Anyway, I think that they’re funnier in drawers, kitchen drawers that is, where they don’t crunch under foot, they just lie in corners and prop up the elastic bands and other bits and bobs.<\/p>\n

No, I was looking for a sign from the cosmos that might have gotten in through the sludge at the side door, which is unfortunately inside, not outside, the door – sigh. Aha! something is speaking to me from the fridge door, always a good place to look for unspoken messages. Already I can tell, it’s going to be a day of contradictions!! First, there are all the slogans on the fridge magnets themselves – do I need to know the signs of a stroke? or where to buy fresh sea food?….not cosmic enough! Then there is all the info on the bits of paper these magnets secure to the door. The Jays’ baseball schedule, appointments with Dr. Who \ud83d\ude42 or more specifically, a Dr Whose name I can’t make out and maybe a note to call the British High Commission for passports – hmmmm. Finally there is the message inherent in the organized chaos of their display. This is not communication, this is the Tower of
\nBabel!!<\/p>\n

\n<\/a><\/div>\n

Wait, I think I see something of interest – a calorie counter – OK, it’s always good for a laugh!! Here’s a list of the amount of exercise it takes to burn off certain foods – very depressing!!<\/p>\n

1 slice of pizza = 30 mins of running
\n1 large muffin = 90 mins of yoga
\n1 caesar salad = 2 hrs of cleaning
\n1 glass of red wine = 1 hr of walking the dog
\n1 slice of chocolate cake = 1 hr of swimming
\n1 medium frappuccino = 45 mins of tennis<\/p>\n

No wonder I never lose weight. To work off a basic meal with a little wine would take me several hours of strenuous exercise and then it would be mealtime again. Damned if you do and damned if you don’t!!<\/p>\n

The picture? Walking the dog cake or something like that \ud83d\ude42<\/p>\n

Have a lite day<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

…..or not as the case maybe. I have just spent the last half hour hanging around the kitchen looking for an idea for a post. Unfortunately, I have done crumbs before and today there were too many of them to be funny. Anyway, I think that they’re funnier in drawers, kitchen drawers that is, where […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":3257,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"site-sidebar-layout":"default","site-content-layout":"","ast-site-content-layout":"default","site-content-style":"default","site-sidebar-style":"default","ast-global-header-display":"","ast-banner-title-visibility":"","ast-main-header-display":"","ast-hfb-above-header-display":"","ast-hfb-below-header-display":"","ast-hfb-mobile-header-display":"","site-post-title":"","ast-breadcrumbs-content":"","ast-featured-img":"","footer-sml-layout":"","ast-disable-related-posts":"","theme-transparent-header-meta":"","adv-header-id-meta":"","stick-header-meta":"","header-above-stick-meta":"","header-main-stick-meta":"","header-below-stick-meta":"","astra-migrate-meta-layouts":"default","ast-page-background-enabled":"default","ast-page-background-meta":{"desktop":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-4)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"tablet":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"mobile":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""}},"ast-content-background-meta":{"desktop":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"tablet":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"mobile":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""}},"footnotes":""},"categories":[6],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-4988","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-food"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/lifeiswhathappens.ca\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4988","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/lifeiswhathappens.ca\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/lifeiswhathappens.ca\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lifeiswhathappens.ca\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lifeiswhathappens.ca\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=4988"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/lifeiswhathappens.ca\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4988\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":4989,"href":"https:\/\/lifeiswhathappens.ca\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4988\/revisions\/4989"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lifeiswhathappens.ca\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/3257"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/lifeiswhathappens.ca\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=4988"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lifeiswhathappens.ca\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=4988"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lifeiswhathappens.ca\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=4988"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}