{"id":9609,"date":"2022-01-01T16:17:00","date_gmt":"2022-01-01T16:17:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/lifeiswhathappens.ca\/?p=9609"},"modified":"2026-01-15T20:41:51","modified_gmt":"2026-01-15T20:41:51","slug":"what-doesnt-kill-us-makes-us-go-mad-2","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/lifeiswhathappens.ca\/?p=9609","title":{"rendered":"What doesn&#8217;t kill us&#8230;.makes us go mad&#8230;."},"content":{"rendered":"<p>I can&#8217;t believe I haven&#8217;t written since late September. Well, on the other hand, maybe I can. I have had to face certain significant challenges between late September and late December. I will start at the end and work backwards &#8211; always the cart before the horse &#8211; I need to rein things in. &nbsp;\ud83d\ude42<\/p>\n<p>1. Christmas turkey. I always buy a frozen turkey and let it thaw in the fridge for a few days before it needs to be cooked for the three days of the year we eat turkey &#8211; Easter, Thanksgiving and Christmas. It seemed easier in the past. There was always a frozen turkey somewhere between nine and fourteen pounds that was, just that, a turkey, though ironically the brand was somehow called Flamingo. I could quite easily bypass turkeys that were: a) butter enhanced (read, shot through with chemicals), b) pre-seasoned (read again, shot through with chemicals, c) pre-stuffed (read, packed with chemicals), d) cook from frozen &#8211; for those who never plan ahead I guess. Now, I did pause at the ones that had missing parts. I felt a little sorry for them. Finally, three stores later I did find some perfectly unadulterated turkeys that would have been fine had they not been thawing for a day or two already. I would have to come back and buy whatever was left a little closer to the time. Yes, I could have bought a frozen organic turkey for $89.00 hmmmm &#8211; not today.<\/p>\n<p>2. Before turkey buying, we have tree trimming. We actually buy our Christmas tree at the beginning of December and keep it outside until a week or so before Christmas. The tree isn&#8217;t any fresher or better shaped &#8211; who could tell anyway, they are always wrapped in netting, but it is one less pressure to have with all the other pressures around the holiday season. I always envision trimming the tree, as a quiet party with family, after dinner &#8211; add some Carols, a little wine, some cookies&#8230;.the list goes on. In reality it is usually me on a nondescript afternoon rushing to get it done before dinner. Well, this year the tree was quite &#8220;fluffy.&#8221; It took all the coloured lights we had and then some. What should have been completed in an afternoon was now into its second day. Twenty-four hours later, I went to Home Depot for more lights &#8211; SOLD OUT. I panicked. Next stop Canadian Tire &#8211; they need to hire the buyer from Home Depot &#8211; these guys will be selling lights into July. I was overwhelmed! I could buy strings of lights by the number &#8211; 50 lights, 100, 150, 200, 250. I could buy indoor lights, outdoor lights, indoor-outdoor lights, big lights, small lights, teeny tiny miniature lights. Really how many multipurpose, multi-sized lights did I need? I followed a customer, who had snagged a salesperson and bought what she bought or at least close to it. Since she had bought the last box of 100 lights, I had to buy 150.<\/p>\n<p>3. It&#8217;s one thing to buy an extra set of lights, it&#8217;s another thing to have them &#8220;match&#8221; your other strings of lights that you have had for the last 10 or 20 years. Clearly someone had missed the boat on the built in obsolescence of Christmas lights.&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>Snide remarks aside, this is how it went:<\/p>\n<p><span>&nbsp; &nbsp; a) Plugged in new lights and added them to the bottom of the tree &#8211; too long<br \/><\/span><span>&nbsp; &nbsp; b) Realized that all the lights had to be taken off the tree<\/span>&nbsp;and the new set had to go on first.<br \/><span>&nbsp; &nbsp; c) Added new set only to realize that it just had a &#8220;male&#8221; end to it &#8211; go figure.<br \/><\/span><span>&nbsp; &nbsp; d) Had to&nbsp;<\/span>remove and restring the remaining lights on the tree to get the correct &#8220;sex&#8221; connections.<br \/><span><span><span>&nbsp;&nbsp; &nbsp;<span>&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; Porn&nbsp;<\/span><\/span>is everywhere.<br \/><\/span><\/span><span>&nbsp; &nbsp; e) Finally plugged in the<\/span>&nbsp;lights only to find that the middle strand had three small lights on a row that<br \/><span><span>&nbsp;&nbsp; &nbsp;<span>&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; were out.<br \/><\/span><\/span><span>&nbsp; &nbsp; f) Pulled out the middle bulb of three. The entire string died, sigh. Found a new bulb. It didn&#8217;t fit. <br \/><span>&nbsp;&nbsp; &nbsp;<span>&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp;&nbsp;<\/span><\/span>Tried to&nbsp;<span><span>replace&nbsp;<\/span><\/span><\/span><span><span>the old bulb only to lose it somewhere in the tree.<br \/><\/span><\/span><\/span><span>&nbsp;&nbsp; &nbsp;<\/span>g) Disconnected the middle strand and rearranged the strings of lights once again.<br \/><span>&nbsp;&nbsp; &nbsp;<\/span>h) Forgot to mention that the new set of lights on the top half of the tree twinkle, the rest don&#8217;t.<\/p>\n<p>Next post &#8211; the furnace, which apparently does have built in obsolescence.<\/p>\n<p>Have a happy New Year. &nbsp; &nbsp;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>I can&#8217;t believe I haven&#8217;t written since late September. Well, on the other hand, maybe I can. I have had to face certain significant challenges between late September and late December. I will start at the end and work backwards &#8211; always the cart before the horse &#8211; I need to rein things in. &nbsp;\ud83d\ude42 [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"site-sidebar-layout":"default","site-content-layout":"","ast-site-content-layout":"default","site-content-style":"default","site-sidebar-style":"default","ast-global-header-display":"","ast-banner-title-visibility":"","ast-main-header-display":"","ast-hfb-above-header-display":"","ast-hfb-below-header-display":"","ast-hfb-mobile-header-display":"","site-post-title":"","ast-breadcrumbs-content":"","ast-featured-img":"","footer-sml-layout":"","ast-disable-related-posts":"","theme-transparent-header-meta":"","adv-header-id-meta":"","stick-header-meta":"","header-above-stick-meta":"","header-main-stick-meta":"","header-below-stick-meta":"","astra-migrate-meta-layouts":"default","ast-page-background-enabled":"default","ast-page-background-meta":{"desktop":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-4)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"tablet":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"mobile":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""}},"ast-content-background-meta":{"desktop":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"tablet":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"mobile":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""}},"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-9609","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-blog"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/lifeiswhathappens.ca\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/9609","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/lifeiswhathappens.ca\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/lifeiswhathappens.ca\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lifeiswhathappens.ca\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lifeiswhathappens.ca\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=9609"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/lifeiswhathappens.ca\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/9609\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":9610,"href":"https:\/\/lifeiswhathappens.ca\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/9609\/revisions\/9610"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/lifeiswhathappens.ca\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=9609"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lifeiswhathappens.ca\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=9609"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lifeiswhathappens.ca\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=9609"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}