Charisma – Carol Tomany

I was feeling a bit down yesterday – grey sky, had to work on Saturday, house needs cleaning – you know, very little to brighten up the day, until highexistence.com posted to my FB wall this list – 8 ways to be UBER Charismatic – just what I needed, some guidance in getting out of the rut and at least inspiring myself, if not others.

Here is the author’s introduction, followed by the list and my italicized observations-

What did JFK, Marilyn Monroe and Hitler all have in common?

They were all renowned charismatics that lit up every room they entered.

You’ve most likely met one of these kinds before. The guy/girl at the party. They possess some strange quality that causes them to be liked by everyone and constantly at the center of attention. Their eyes and the way they carry themselves convey power and magnetism and you can’t quite figure out why.

Robert Greene studied these people and detailed the methods one can use to become a charismatic in his book “The Art of Seduction.” He outlines the 10 characteristics that make up ‘charisma’, effectively quantifying a talent you might think people are simply born with. Here are the 8 of them:

1. PURPOSE – Pick a cause, a goal, a vision and live it. People long to have a cause to rally around — something to believe in. You need to believe in it so strongly, that it animates your every gesture. Be self-assured in every scenario. Show that you don’t share the doubts the plague most people. Act as if you know where you are going, even if you aren’t 100% sure.

I know that there are people like this and some succeed at it, but others fail miserably and become complete bores. I am not sure that believing in extraterrestrials or other strange phenomenon, would make you the life of the party – now maybe, if you could read people’s minds out loud – Whoa!!.

ESP aside, even if you pick a common goal, you run the risk of being just one of many championing, for example – green energy. Now what is fairly central to my life, after my family, is my business which involves the knitting community – hard to get a rise out of a group at a cocktail party talking about the long tail cast-on 🙂

2. MYSTERY – Become mysterious (like Bruce Wayne) by being unpredictable. Don’t hesitate to act on emotional whims as you will only add to your unpredictability. Always leave something about yourself for people to guess at, never fully revealing your true intentions.

Batman I will never be, nor will I ever be Catwoman – crazy cat lady maybe, I have 3 already. I don’t know about this quality. Although, I’ve always liked Miss Marples in those Agatha Christie mysteries, I can’t see her as being the life of the party. Also I have always hated the unpredictable, maybe that’s why I hate pool parties – someone always gets thrown in, because someone else is practising their charismatic emotional whims!

3. SAINTLINESS – Think Gandhi. Live simply. Don’t be swayed by the ebb and flow of life. You are above being affected by the little challenges in life. Saints live their ideas without caring about the consequences.

True many have been martyred. Now, I think that Mother Teresa must have had charisma. She could speak to stadiums full of people to raise money for her orphanages. But I would miss the wine 🙂

4. ELOQUENCE – Speak slowly and hypnotically, with random pauses if needed. Try to be the exact opposite of panicky. If someone calls your name, turn your head slowly. Slow everything down until your every action is riddled with poise.

I had a history teacher once who could put an entire class to sleep in 5 minutes with this form of eloquence. Yes, I could practice moving slowly. After all, Zombies are in these days.

My charismatic son

5. THEATRICALITY – Be larger than life. Act as if the world is your stage and all eyes are on you 24/7. Stay calm and collected while radiating self-assurance.

Now, they didn’t mention wearing costumes. Also at 5′, being larger than life is a challenge in itself. Yes, I know that many very short people have become famous, but I think that I would need a costume.

6. DANGER/SPONTANEITY – Radiate dangerous, rebellious sexuality. Be spontaneous. Hold no agendas and be open to anything. Realize that death is inevitable and act as though you look forward to the experience. Be seen taking risks for the good of others. Be brazen in your actions (Lenin walked the streets after receiving death threats). If you show the slightest sign of cowardice or timidity, you’re done for.

I have seen these charismatic wanna-bees, only they are called bicycle-couriers, skate-boarders, or “late for work jump in front of the bus” admin. assistants. As far as the “rebellious sexuality” is concerned, at my age, I am not about to become a Miley Cyrus. For one thing, I would be arrested, with or without the death threats.

7. VULNERABILITY – Have a soft side and love your followers. Don’t be too good for them. Enjoy being loved by them and love them back. Don’t seem manipulative or needy. Imagine the public as one person whom you want to seduce.

Sorry but all I can think of is gang rape.

8. MAGNETISIM – Develop a piercing gaze. Look in the mirror and play around with different looks until you find one that is powerful. Practice, practice, practice until the gaze is second-nature. When you meet people, look deep into their eyes while you shake their hand. Never look away first. Remember that your eyes can give you away more easily than anything else.

I thought that this was going to be something simple like magnets. I guess, I’ll need better glasses, a better mirror and lots of time to practise saying….. “Look into my eyes.” Now if I could only remember the movie.

Have a charming day